if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
