He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
