you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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