90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
