bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
