I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
