I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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