party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
