my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
