then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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