YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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