Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
