I can tuck mytits in my pants
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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