I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
