tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
