Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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