You can't special order awesome
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it's great music for shaving your balls
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
