After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
