The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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