dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm always down for nudity.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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