she sounds like chewbacca in bed
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
