We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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