Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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