my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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