we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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