How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
