we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
