We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
