Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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