Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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