Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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