i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
