sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
