my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
