after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
