I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
