so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
