turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
