sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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