my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
drinking out of a sandbucket again
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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