I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
