I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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