My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
