Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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