I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
