pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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