We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
