Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
