Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
