i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
