i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
