Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize